But what if i need you baby,
would you even try to save me,
or would you find some lame excuse, to never be true,
What if i said i loved you,
would you be the one to run to,
or would you watch me walk away,
without a fight.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Girl in dream
She searched for a way out
But the darkness swallowed her
She can’t speak, she can’t see
She looked for anything to keep her away from the darkness
Then she saw a light but the light is hot
The heat hurts as she falls further into it
Then she sees a man, the most beautiful man that anyone could ever imagine
He is laughing, but the girl doesn’t understand why
He comes towards her as she reaches out
He grabs her hand but his hold is too strong
He tells her that this is her fate
Then she understands
He is telling her that the hell she lived in on earth has come and taken her away
He leaves and she was left alone burning, crying for help
Then I awake and notice that it was just a dream
I am scared to move
My heart is beating faster and faster as I remember who the beautiful man was
Lucifer the most beautiful angel had come into my dreams
He brought me to experience in just the smallest way his world
I try to figure out what all of this means
I try to remember if I knew the girl
Then as I get up, get ready, and walk outside
I see the girl
She is standing at my door asking for help
I help her and talk to her
It was like we were the same person
We developed a friendship over time
And I told her about my dream years later
She was speechless
We talked about it for hours
She asked questions by the hundreds
As we talked she sobbed
She realized where the rest of her family really was
She prayed right there, without a second thought she knew where she wanted to go
She became a great teacher
She taught college professors at such a young age about the bible
And when her life ended we all knew where she was and always will be
And I swear I saw the light come on her when she left us
But the darkness swallowed her
She can’t speak, she can’t see
She looked for anything to keep her away from the darkness
Then she saw a light but the light is hot
The heat hurts as she falls further into it
Then she sees a man, the most beautiful man that anyone could ever imagine
He is laughing, but the girl doesn’t understand why
He comes towards her as she reaches out
He grabs her hand but his hold is too strong
He tells her that this is her fate
Then she understands
He is telling her that the hell she lived in on earth has come and taken her away
He leaves and she was left alone burning, crying for help
Then I awake and notice that it was just a dream
I am scared to move
My heart is beating faster and faster as I remember who the beautiful man was
Lucifer the most beautiful angel had come into my dreams
He brought me to experience in just the smallest way his world
I try to figure out what all of this means
I try to remember if I knew the girl
Then as I get up, get ready, and walk outside
I see the girl
She is standing at my door asking for help
I help her and talk to her
It was like we were the same person
We developed a friendship over time
And I told her about my dream years later
She was speechless
We talked about it for hours
She asked questions by the hundreds
As we talked she sobbed
She realized where the rest of her family really was
She prayed right there, without a second thought she knew where she wanted to go
She became a great teacher
She taught college professors at such a young age about the bible
And when her life ended we all knew where she was and always will be
And I swear I saw the light come on her when she left us
How do you know?
Who’s the boy in the back of your mind?
Why is he always there?
Why does he take over your thoughts until you cannot think of anything else?
Why does your world revolve around him?
Is it love or just infatuation?
You go to sleep at night and he is all you dream about
Why do you always want him near?
Why does it feel like you need him more than anyone?
Why do you feel like you can’t live without him?
Why no matter how much he hates you can you not give him up?
Why when he asks, “do you wanna go out?” does your heart fly?
Why when you start getting closer do you want everything from him?
Is it superficial or something so much more?
You claim to love him and he later says I love you too
But how are you sure?
What if you mess up your life and make a huge mistake?
You say you will marry this guy so young
But that is such a slim chance
And someone will end get hurt
If you start doing things what happens to that future man?
The one that will truly and forever love you
What if you forsake his trust?
You take away the most loving act from him
You say to him I was so young
But how does he know you won’t do it again
How does he know he can fully trust you?
How does he know that you won’t forsake him again?
He doesn’t, does he?
He lives with your mistake but it tears both of you apart inside
He is the man that is perfect for you
And you’re the perfect woman for him
But you took away everything from him
Even when he says he has forgiven you and forgotten everything he is crying out for help
He is wishing you had saved yourself for him
And it kills a part of you and him
He wishes that you could have given him all of your heart when you only had a small bit left to give
As you grow older he is happy on the outside but dead on the inside
You try to do everything you can to make it up to him
But there is nothing you can do to get your most special and sacred gift back
You may have been 16 and didn’t think there were consequences when there are
You could lose the man who was made just for you
You may end up living a hard life knowing how you missed out
Because he is the only one you truly loved and who truly loved you
Why is he always there?
Why does he take over your thoughts until you cannot think of anything else?
Why does your world revolve around him?
Is it love or just infatuation?
You go to sleep at night and he is all you dream about
Why do you always want him near?
Why does it feel like you need him more than anyone?
Why do you feel like you can’t live without him?
Why no matter how much he hates you can you not give him up?
Why when he asks, “do you wanna go out?” does your heart fly?
Why when you start getting closer do you want everything from him?
Is it superficial or something so much more?
You claim to love him and he later says I love you too
But how are you sure?
What if you mess up your life and make a huge mistake?
You say you will marry this guy so young
But that is such a slim chance
And someone will end get hurt
If you start doing things what happens to that future man?
The one that will truly and forever love you
What if you forsake his trust?
You take away the most loving act from him
You say to him I was so young
But how does he know you won’t do it again
How does he know he can fully trust you?
How does he know that you won’t forsake him again?
He doesn’t, does he?
He lives with your mistake but it tears both of you apart inside
He is the man that is perfect for you
And you’re the perfect woman for him
But you took away everything from him
Even when he says he has forgiven you and forgotten everything he is crying out for help
He is wishing you had saved yourself for him
And it kills a part of you and him
He wishes that you could have given him all of your heart when you only had a small bit left to give
As you grow older he is happy on the outside but dead on the inside
You try to do everything you can to make it up to him
But there is nothing you can do to get your most special and sacred gift back
You may have been 16 and didn’t think there were consequences when there are
You could lose the man who was made just for you
You may end up living a hard life knowing how you missed out
Because he is the only one you truly loved and who truly loved you
How could you end up with him?
How did you end up with him?
You could never have thought that you would
He is sweeter than any guy you could know
His eyes draw you toward him
You don’t deserve him and you know it too
He says you’re perfect, you’re beautiful
But you just tell him that he is just lying to himself
His lips call to you
You want more and more
Your thoughts are filled with him
You can’t sleep at night
You can’t think straight
You can’t help but want him
He is above any standard you could ever make
He is everything you want in a guy
But you’re always thinking, what if he doesn’t want me?
What if he will dump me when another girl comes along?
The doubt fills your mind and you try to do everything you can to keep him
But he never will leave
He always wanted you and you alone
But why is this subject so hard for you to retain?
He is in love with you
And you’re in love with him too
He wants to hold you tighter but you keep pulling away
You don’t want anything more than to have him hold you
But you aren’t sure why he would want you
You’re nothing special
You’re nothing unique
But he loves you more than anything
And he can’t explain it and neither can you
But you ended up with each other and forever you will love each other
You could never have thought that you would
He is sweeter than any guy you could know
His eyes draw you toward him
You don’t deserve him and you know it too
He says you’re perfect, you’re beautiful
But you just tell him that he is just lying to himself
His lips call to you
You want more and more
Your thoughts are filled with him
You can’t sleep at night
You can’t think straight
You can’t help but want him
He is above any standard you could ever make
He is everything you want in a guy
But you’re always thinking, what if he doesn’t want me?
What if he will dump me when another girl comes along?
The doubt fills your mind and you try to do everything you can to keep him
But he never will leave
He always wanted you and you alone
But why is this subject so hard for you to retain?
He is in love with you
And you’re in love with him too
He wants to hold you tighter but you keep pulling away
You don’t want anything more than to have him hold you
But you aren’t sure why he would want you
You’re nothing special
You’re nothing unique
But he loves you more than anything
And he can’t explain it and neither can you
But you ended up with each other and forever you will love each other
Ridge Center Week
Wow where do i start? I can't say i loved the waking up early part during this wk. but I can say that the kids are a blessing on every one's lives. The first day I walked in the kids were immediately loving. They didn't care that they didn't even know who the heck you were they just knew you were there for them and they were just so excited! The second day was even better than the first. Yes , i did sit on a sponge , and I had kids laughin all day when i walked by and they saw that like 3 hours later i still had a wet butt ha ha, but they were so fun! I even got out 2 kids in kickball lol... I never seem to be able to do that with kids my own age lol! I could do a day by day analysis.... but I can't seem to summarize the events because they were so amazing and full of so many fun events. The second they saw a camera their eyes were glued. I couldn't help but take pictures of all of them haha, I even hung one up in my room to remind me of this week. I left the vbs with like 4, 5 yr. old boyfriends, and I was told I was married which kinda caught me off guard because i never found out who this person was i was supposedly married to lol, but this week was def. an amazing week... I couldnt ask for a better way to spend it than to be with those kids. And I think I honestly found out what I want to do as an adult. The Ridge Center wk. definately touched my life and I am sure it touched many others. I hope i get to return to the ridgecenter someday.... They may not know it but those kids have touched my life more than anyone ever has and i am pretty sure they will continue to touch many others in the years to come.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Love is a powerful gift
The princess and the prince are walking
They lean in hug, kiss, and fall
She leans closer and closer
The prince starts to make love
They lean in holding on as long as they can
She comes up for a breath
As she does her fairytale land comes to an end
Her prince charming becomes a dragon
Her fairytale land turning into her personal hell
The flowers dying turning from beautiful colors to brown
The rainbows losing color
The sky turning blood red
Fire rises and destroys everything
She’s scared she pleads with him
She begs for her life
Her last words before she dies
I love you, Dragon or Prince, You’re my true love and I will never forget you
Then he kills her and she falls and dies
He changes back into the prince
The fairytale land returning
He sees his princess lying cold and dead
He sees what he has done
He remembers of Romeo and Juliet
He falls down, grabs a scale that had fallen from his hand
He pierces his chest he falls down and dies with her because love truly is a powerful thing
They lean in hug, kiss, and fall
She leans closer and closer
The prince starts to make love
They lean in holding on as long as they can
She comes up for a breath
As she does her fairytale land comes to an end
Her prince charming becomes a dragon
Her fairytale land turning into her personal hell
The flowers dying turning from beautiful colors to brown
The rainbows losing color
The sky turning blood red
Fire rises and destroys everything
She’s scared she pleads with him
She begs for her life
Her last words before she dies
I love you, Dragon or Prince, You’re my true love and I will never forget you
Then he kills her and she falls and dies
He changes back into the prince
The fairytale land returning
He sees his princess lying cold and dead
He sees what he has done
He remembers of Romeo and Juliet
He falls down, grabs a scale that had fallen from his hand
He pierces his chest he falls down and dies with her because love truly is a powerful thing
Love
Love is a powerful gift
And being in love is a dangerous road to travel on
Love can hurt you so much
But doesn’t that just show how much you care about them?
Some say you can’t love without being hurt
But isn’t there a way where we can love and life be perfect?
Don’t we wish the answer is yes
Don’t we wish once you have found the one that your life could be flawless
But isn’t your life after you have met them more worth your while?
Love should be given to many people
But you should love that person more
Love them as you would a newborn baby
Love them unconditionally
Love is a powerful gift but be careful who you give your love to
The more you give your love away the more you get hurt
And being in love is a dangerous road to travel on
Love can hurt you so much
But doesn’t that just show how much you care about them?
Some say you can’t love without being hurt
But isn’t there a way where we can love and life be perfect?
Don’t we wish the answer is yes
Don’t we wish once you have found the one that your life could be flawless
But isn’t your life after you have met them more worth your while?
Love should be given to many people
But you should love that person more
Love them as you would a newborn baby
Love them unconditionally
Love is a powerful gift but be careful who you give your love to
The more you give your love away the more you get hurt
Goodbye
Why can’t you remember everything we have now?
Why can’t you forget about all of the past?
Why is it so easy for you to say goodbye
I hate being alone now but tonight I will say goodnight
I told you time and time again that I love you more
You win me over and over again that I can’t be alone anymore
It hurts inside to be away from you
But it’s so easy for you
I can’t live without you
But you said it’s time to say goodbye
Why can’t you remember everything we have now?
Why can’t you forget about all of the past?
Why is it so easy for you to say goodbye
I hate being alone now but tonight I will say goodnight
You walk away I sit alone
I cry myself to sleep
You don’t look back
And that’s what really kills me
You keep walking and I can’t move away
I stare at the back of your head
As you walk away
Why can’t you remember everything we have now?
Why can’t you forget about all of the past?
Why is it so easy for you to say goodbye
I hate being alone now but tonight I will say goodnight
Remember one thing that night when you go to sleep
You have always meant more to me than anyone in my dreams
I will miss you forever but I gotta move on
And you can charm someone else and never again lead me on
Why can’t you forget about all of the past?
Why is it so easy for you to say goodbye
I hate being alone now but tonight I will say goodnight
I told you time and time again that I love you more
You win me over and over again that I can’t be alone anymore
It hurts inside to be away from you
But it’s so easy for you
I can’t live without you
But you said it’s time to say goodbye
Why can’t you remember everything we have now?
Why can’t you forget about all of the past?
Why is it so easy for you to say goodbye
I hate being alone now but tonight I will say goodnight
You walk away I sit alone
I cry myself to sleep
You don’t look back
And that’s what really kills me
You keep walking and I can’t move away
I stare at the back of your head
As you walk away
Why can’t you remember everything we have now?
Why can’t you forget about all of the past?
Why is it so easy for you to say goodbye
I hate being alone now but tonight I will say goodnight
Remember one thing that night when you go to sleep
You have always meant more to me than anyone in my dreams
I will miss you forever but I gotta move on
And you can charm someone else and never again lead me on
How could you?
When did this happen?
I really don’t know
Why did you leave me?
How could you go?
You left me here
Alone and afraid
But today is just the same as yesterday
I sit here alone
And think about you
You go away
And I am left home alone
I am on the bed you will no longer go near
I sit there and the bed is soaked with tears
You left me for her
That girl you always wanted
You never wanted me
You just acted and played a game
You said I was the one, the one that you wanted
But how could I have been so stupid and believed you each time
You said you loved me so many times
And you lead me on more and more each time
I thought we would last but that didn’t happen
I fell for you and your small little tricks
I feel so stupid more than before
To ever think that you actually wanted me
To actually think you cared about me
To even think I could be a part of your world
You left me alone to face the world
You took time from me that I will never get back
And trust me I will never forgive you for that
I really don’t know
Why did you leave me?
How could you go?
You left me here
Alone and afraid
But today is just the same as yesterday
I sit here alone
And think about you
You go away
And I am left home alone
I am on the bed you will no longer go near
I sit there and the bed is soaked with tears
You left me for her
That girl you always wanted
You never wanted me
You just acted and played a game
You said I was the one, the one that you wanted
But how could I have been so stupid and believed you each time
You said you loved me so many times
And you lead me on more and more each time
I thought we would last but that didn’t happen
I fell for you and your small little tricks
I feel so stupid more than before
To ever think that you actually wanted me
To actually think you cared about me
To even think I could be a part of your world
You left me alone to face the world
You took time from me that I will never get back
And trust me I will never forgive you for that
Friday, March 6, 2009
My Greatest Dreams
1. I want to be an interior designer
2. I have wanted to write a fiction book for a while now
3. I want to get married some day
4. I want kids someday but i always say adoption is an option :D haha
(There are probably more but well i have bad short term memory that is prob. preventing me from remembering everything)
2. I have wanted to write a fiction book for a while now
3. I want to get married some day
4. I want kids someday but i always say adoption is an option :D haha
(There are probably more but well i have bad short term memory that is prob. preventing me from remembering everything)
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Taylor Swift: Best Day
I'm five years old, it's getting cold outside I've got my big coat on
I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you, I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides. look now, the sky is gold
I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home
I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
I know your not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow Whites house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day with you today
I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends can be so mean
I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys
And we drive until we've found a town far enough away
And we talk and window shop till I've forgotten all their names
I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school
But I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay
But I had the best day with you today
I have an excellent father, his strength is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother, inside and out, he's better than I am
I grew up in a pretty house where I had space to run
And I had the best day with you today
There is a video I found from back when I was three
You set up a paint set in the kitchen and your talking to me
It's the age of princess' and pirate ships and the 7 dwarfs
And Daddy's smart and your the prettiest lady the whole wide world
And now I know why all the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
For staying back and watching me shine
And i didn't if you knew, so I'm takin' this chance to say
I had the best day with you today
This song describes my life so well... The part of being 13 and not knowing who you're going to talk to at school was exactly how i have felt my whole life . Thankfully i have met some of the most amazing people this year :) They are always there for me and now know if i ever have a problem instead of crying alone i have someone to hold me up when i need to be :)
I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you, I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides. look now, the sky is gold
I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home
I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
I know your not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow Whites house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day with you today
I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends can be so mean
I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys
And we drive until we've found a town far enough away
And we talk and window shop till I've forgotten all their names
I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school
But I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay
But I had the best day with you today
I have an excellent father, his strength is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother, inside and out, he's better than I am
I grew up in a pretty house where I had space to run
And I had the best day with you today
There is a video I found from back when I was three
You set up a paint set in the kitchen and your talking to me
It's the age of princess' and pirate ships and the 7 dwarfs
And Daddy's smart and your the prettiest lady the whole wide world
And now I know why all the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
For staying back and watching me shine
And i didn't if you knew, so I'm takin' this chance to say
I had the best day with you today
This song describes my life so well... The part of being 13 and not knowing who you're going to talk to at school was exactly how i have felt my whole life . Thankfully i have met some of the most amazing people this year :) They are always there for me and now know if i ever have a problem instead of crying alone i have someone to hold me up when i need to be :)
Gathering Point Church: February 28th, 2009
Well the morning started off early but as the day progressed it was really good. The paintings that had been started were already beautiful b4 they were even done. As the day went on the paintings were finished and ended up so fantastic. We had a carwash that well didnt go off as well as we planned. When there is a new church i guess unless you really know where you are located it's hard to get people to go there even for a TOTALLY FREE CAR WASH ! done by the best car washing crew around :) ! We enjoyed the hot dogs that were provided and while the painting crew worked after we shut down the car wash we enjoyed just talking and being able to have a good laugh with some of our closest friends :) I know i did atleast.... :D We had fun fighting over a silly hat.. but for some reason that hat caused some of our greatest laughs... idk how funny a hat can be but it made us crack up laughing :) We def. got in our excercise and alot of us got sun burned from acting like too cool idiots and not putting on sunscreen :\ lol :) Some of us had ice tea cans thrown at our heads and ice cubes too.. but thankfully none of us were bruised :) All in all it was a great day of good conversation, and being able to help others that were in need and even though I didnt do much ... it made me feel good for being able to help another church :) I wish everyone could have the chance to do something like this because it makes you feel so good inside... Idk how to explain it but trust me I used to be one of those kids who never wanted to do this kind of stuff and now I would trade anything to be able to do this kind of stuff every day :) I just can't thank God enough for what he has done in my life !! :)
Friday, February 20, 2009
My life
Well how about i start off my new blog with telling you a lil bit about me. I have been struggling for a long time with my walk in the Lord. I went to a winter retreat this year and i am slowly but surely working my way back. I also have amazing friends . I might get frustrated at them sometimes but like I know they are in my life for a purpose n i thank God everyday for them. I have a family that is always there. They may make me laugh n yes even cry but the same thing as my friends they are here for a reason. I have to say I might wish i had a different family everyonce in a while but i know if i didnt have them around i would regret it. I have been struggling a long time with temptation like every one does. I won't get descriptive but i have gotten way to close to people i shouldn't have. My life has been dramatically changed this year when i started going to Feathersound. I have met great friends .. and basically have added people to my family now. I wish i could be with them more but i see them 1ce a week which makes my week amazing. When i am having a bad day i always have people who can cheer me up without even trying. :) Well thats basically it ... :)
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